I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
