I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
