real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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