I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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