so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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