I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize