yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
