i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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