he puts the penis in happiness.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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