It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize