your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
