Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
