You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
