Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I didn't notice because vodka
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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