So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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