a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
