3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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