We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
