Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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