member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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