i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
