that's an acceptable place to lick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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