Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i barfeds in our rink
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
