Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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