sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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