woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
