Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(703): View more from Virginia

one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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(850): View more from Florida

i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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(334): View more from Alabama

seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside

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