Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You're the end to all my bad dreams.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

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  (775): You're the end to all my bad dreams. (702): Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again? http://tfl.nu/buiw
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (1955)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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  (404): She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves. http://tfl.nu/q9n8
  Replies (26) Good night (4729) Bad night (711)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.

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  (208): She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible. http://tfl.nu/a9zl
  Replies (41) Good night (860) Bad night (9210)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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  (760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v
  Replies (26) Good night (10726) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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  (816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc
  Replies (12) Good night (3319) Bad night (695)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.

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  (712): He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him. http://tfl.nu/xqld
  Replies (30) Good night (5673) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".

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  (250): you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday". http://tfl.nu/bzic
  Replies (8) Good night (7117) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.

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  (+44): Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/hd48
  Replies (8) Good night (1046) Bad night (3233)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.

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  (+44): Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand. http://tfl.nu/fdqs
  Replies (22) Good night (8593) Bad night (812)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.

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  (630): whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch. http://tfl.nu/lo8i
  Replies (5) Good night (2277) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (4074) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it

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  (631): She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/e6sn
  Replies (11) Good night (370) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  omg i wish you could see the front of my car.

  (909): View more from California

  There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.

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  (909): omg i wish you could see the front of my car. (909): There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood. http://tfl.nu/64tw
  Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.

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  (210): I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now. http://tfl.nu/7ifv
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (141)

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