I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later