Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house

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  (973): i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house http://tfl.nu/qme2
  Replies (11) Good night (12306) Bad night (885)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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  (804): I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities http://tfl.nu/vh2c
  Replies (16) Good night (4070) Bad night (636)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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  (404): No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it. http://tfl.nu/6j8m
  Replies (24) Good night (1740) Bad night (8567)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.

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  (910): easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/l4k4
  Replies (20) Good night (5337) Bad night (2099)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?

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  (231): btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night? http://tfl.nu/51xq
  Replies (2) Good night (2129) Bad night (1239)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar

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  (978): Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar http://tfl.nu/tjlh
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (720)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it

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  (919): It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it http://tfl.nu/58vo
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (541)
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  (805): View more from California

  It's like a toaster oven for my penis

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  (805): It's like a toaster oven for my penis http://tfl.nu/6tvc
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (529)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV

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  (978): Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV http://tfl.nu/diup
  Replies (0) Good night (788) Bad night (461)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!

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  (920): we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?! http://tfl.nu/3ixp
  Replies (14) Good night (518) Bad night (1842)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (791) Bad night (354)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.

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  (307): I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open. http://tfl.nu/7eks
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (754)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...

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  (803): He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is... http://tfl.nu/usg6
  Replies (3) Good night (589) Bad night (312)
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  (510): View more from California

  She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.

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  (510): She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL. http://tfl.nu/icp3
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You had 10 drinks. On a first date.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just masterbated then started bawling.

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  (571): I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it (812): You had 10 drinks. On a first date. (571): I just masterbated then started bawling. http://tfl.nu/gbak
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (850)

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