Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
well you can't waste a boner
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
