i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
