Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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