lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
