I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
