I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
