No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza