Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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  (269): Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to http://tfl.nu/vc1c
  Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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  (636): I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes http://tfl.nu/5pzj
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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  (805): He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/fsan
  Replies (31) Good night (5012) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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  (218): it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger. http://tfl.nu/p87j
  Replies (10) Good night (6136) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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  (781): You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece http://tfl.nu/uonr
  Replies (7) Good night (1032) Bad night (2897)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

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  (617): I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere http://tfl.nu/b03s
  Replies (10) Good night (3511) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.

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  (503): I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/wdtm
  Replies (5) Good night (1040) Bad night (2441)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring

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  (269): They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring http://tfl.nu/up4a
  Replies (4) Good night (1753) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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  (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne
  Replies (10) Good night (1755) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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  (360): Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid. (360): DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/38em
  Replies (8) Good night (2749) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf

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  (206): Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf http://tfl.nu/6f6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1272) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

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  (810): its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU http://tfl.nu/okh4
  Replies (6) Good night (742) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm

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  (314): Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm http://tfl.nu/9ca7
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on

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  (864): She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on http://tfl.nu/qa30
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.

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  (603): The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open. http://tfl.nu/aj17
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (207)

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