i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits