Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Omg the world wants us to be better people