Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

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  (248): i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both http://tfl.nu/4hk0
  Replies (9) Good night (3054) Bad night (949)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.

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  (401): You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men. http://tfl.nu/u1rr
  Replies (28) Good night (3310) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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  (541): I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog. http://tfl.nu/ft4h
  Replies (53) Good night (3750) Bad night (903)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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  (516): There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong http://tfl.nu/4bke
  Replies (136) Good night (4203) Bad night (796)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.

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  (480): You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker. http://tfl.nu/8odk
  Replies (15) Good night (595) Bad night (3768)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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  (937): Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party. http://tfl.nu/of2q
  Replies (33) Good night (3691) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes

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  (818): we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes http://tfl.nu/3vzd
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (3749)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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  (954): im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls http://tfl.nu/n5en
  Replies (13) Good night (7028) Bad night (1113)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm in awe of how selfish that is.

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  (519): Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking. (1-519): I'm in awe of how selfish that is. http://tfl.nu/dlh3
  Replies (10) Good night (3673) Bad night (1607)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

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  (406): I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense http://tfl.nu/qajt
  Replies (48) Good night (5562) Bad night (1486)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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  (205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76
  Replies (30) Good night (7938) Bad night (1068)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.

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  (610): I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka. http://tfl.nu/ytpq
  Replies (8) Good night (1237) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color

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  (678): So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color http://tfl.nu/9bip
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Oh my god I found my bf's erotica

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

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  (270): Oh my god I found my bf's erotica (270): OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA. (270): OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA. http://tfl.nu/oils
  Replies (3) Good night (1314) Bad night (151)

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