I need to stop coming to work sober
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
