His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
