how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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