so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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