I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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