I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
