I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
