He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
