Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
