im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
