I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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