just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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