drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
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