..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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