Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize