I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
