You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
