my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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