I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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