Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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