it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you never un-have a 4some
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
