Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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