I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
