I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
