Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
