feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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