how can u be prego again
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
